Shooting For Something Higher Than Happiness

We can shoot for something higher than happiness. We have a chance to take advantage of every day occasions to build virtue in ourselves and be of service to the world. - David Brooks, The Road To Character

I stumbled upon this book in Barnes and Noble a couple of years ago when I was going through severe disillusionment with religion and many modern day institutions. I was at a point in my life where I had a moral vocabulary but was uncertain of how to apply it in today’s world. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into when I picked up this book, if I did I most likely would not have purchased it. But as I began reading the book I realized that the challenges I had faced were no excuse to not keep forging ahead in the development of my own character. I feel like this book has helped to equip me with some tools and ideas for how to translate the importance of personal character, values and a deep core even for those who don’t consider themselves to be religious or spiritual. The stories have reinvigorated and reminded me of the value that is found in the struggle.

Such people forgot that often it is just such an exceptionally difficult external situation which gives man the opportunity to grow spiritually beyond himself. - Victor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

These days it has become popular to point to the flaws in everyone except ourselves. Modern dating apps let us pick and choose from a buffet of interesting individuals. If we don’t like what we experience then we get a fresh plate and go back for something more exciting! These ideas have begun to seep into our other relationships. We surround ourself with people who are like-minded and don’t inconvenience ourselves with those who might challenge or disagree with us. All this tip-toeing around has left us spending more time trying to conceal our flaws than combat them. We don’t realize that a recognition of weakness, reveals a new opportunity for strength.

Crisis doesn’t necessarily make character but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one of two paths: character or compromise. - John C. Maxwell, The 21 Indispensable Qualities Of A Leader

The about page states that the book looks to some of the world’s greatest thinkers and inspiring leaders, how through internal struggle and a sense of their own limitations they built strong inner character. The book was written in 2015 but with what our nation is currently facing, now seems the perfect time to revisit it.

Leadership is the capacity and will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence. - Bernard Montgomery, British Field Marshal

When was that last time that you and your friends, co-workers, etc. discussed personal character? How often do we invite people and obstacles into our lives to push us towards personal growth? The individuals in this book faced incredible challenges, but it seems to me that they didn’t let themselves off of the hook because of inferior family or financial situations. So listen to what people around you are saying, or what they are not saying. What have you been trying to escape or distract yourself from that could actually strengthen your core?

We don’t get to pick our talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it every time we make choices- to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or to pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character. - John C. Maxwell, The 21 Indispensable Qualities Of A Leader

About the author of The Road To Character, David Brooks is an op-ed columnist for The New York Times, as well as appears regularly on PBS NewsHour and Meet the Press.

The Value Of Personal Transformation

How do we call out the best in another? How do we embolden them with courage to face inconvenient truths which require personal transformation. How do we raise the honor given to those willing to do the hard work of soul building? To acknowledge not just the pursuit of financial success but to recognize the value of those who have failed yet continue to seek change in their lives. Those who choose to bring their failure into the light instead of walking as mere shadows masked by self-deception. The work of the soul does not happen at our convenience rather it tends to provide us with opportunity at the most inopportune times. You know when you feel most stretched financially, physically or emotionally. When it feels like more things are going wrong then are going right. Just like an athlete is brought to the brink to test their endurance. When we are pushed to the point of straining that is when our true mettle is revealed. When we finally reach out in humble recognition that we can no longer do this thing called life alone and that if we are to become the best version of ourselves we need the mighty help of another.

Usually we are brought to a breaking point, a crisis, an exact moment where we would prefer to pull back, to hide within - it's at our weakest, our least beautiful that we fear rejection if people were to finally see the fraud we see ourselves as. Our self-hate can become overwhelming. We need another to lift our face to look into our eyes and to say YOU ARE ENOUGH and YOU ARE LOVED more than you could possibly imagine. That love is what is desperately needed for any forward movement - our past has paralyzed us. The easy path led to destruction and now we recognize we are off-course but our perspective has gotten so soupy grey fog filled that we cannot steer ourselves back to what our hearts and souls ache for. We became complacent and settled for something that only now we recognize as inferior to what our soul would truly find delight and happiness in. 

Art By: Amy Judd

Creating Safe Places

Our choice is between feeling the sharp pains of self-discovery or enduring the dull ache of unconsciousness that will last for the rest of our lives. Suppressing our pain isn't ending our pain, it's simply displacing it. - Marianne Williamson

A little brutal honesty today. Since before the election the idea of safe places has been on my mind and heart. Our world, our nation, our community is facing some incredible challenges. We have become divided and siloed. We surround ourselves so often with people who think and look like ourselves, that many of us have lost the ability to have a thoughtful conversation with someone who views the world differently than us.

Many have come to believe that if a person doesn't have the same value system as us, then we can't have relationship with them. But isn't that exactly what we all get so upset about when we look at the injustices which have happened throughout history? How could they have such a lack of acceptance, how could they not see how they were hurting people? Yet we persist in punishing those who think differently than us. It has become acceptable to berate and demonize them, treating them as though they aren't human.

Every tree, therefore is valuable in the community and worth keeping around for as long as possible. And that is why even sick individuals are supported and nourished until they recover. Next time, perhaps it will be the other way around, and the supporting tree might be the one in need of assistance. - Peter Wohlleben, The Hidden Life of Trees

Some of my fondest memories have been intense conversations with people who had drastically different viewpoints than myself. They forced me to learn to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Just the other day I felt that my brain was tired (our brains are muscles, it happens!) after spending a whole afternoon trying to communicate with someone whose mind just worked and saw things differently than mine. When I walked out of the meeting I found myself rather frustrated, but a couple of hours later I realized that situation was teaching me something. That person was showing me how to communicate better.

Quite frequently the people who have provided a safe place for me to process my thoughts and feelings were those who came from utterly different and sometimes even polar opposite backgrounds and mindsets. We grappled together with viewpoints and struggled to have patience with each other. I can't begin to say how thankful I am for the people who didn't hold my words against me - because if we do not allow each other room to learn and grow, to change our minds, then we bind people to their past in a way that we would never want to be bound ourselves.

A safe place does not require us to speak everything perfectly. Quite often it is the place where we are allowed to work through our thoughts and there is grace when we stumble and find ourselves falling short of the words needed to articulate our heart. Conversations have this amazing ability to hold up a mirror to us, are we looking to see what is revealed?  What happens if we look through the lens of love. Try to understand that there is an untold story which has shaped every person's life. Try to not view them from a place of condescension. Rather come to the conversation curious, with a child-like wonder, hoping for good. Be the one who helps others to speak their best.

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to go through the hard stuff in order to have greater understanding for others. The pain of our past can either fuel our opposition to another, or cause us to be a conduit of tenderness. It is when we have looked deeply within and felt pain ourselves that we can be of most service to love. We have the power, each of us, to provide safe places and peaceful havens, for those who need to share, to be known and to be loved regardless of their past, present or future. You never know if perhaps today will be the day that we support someone whose life intersects with ours, and then tomorrow they end up speaking just the words of encouragement needed to heal our weary hearts.

Each and every person is a priceless living wonder. Perhaps not every moment we spend with them will be rosy and beautiful. But the fact that we try to understand and be there for each other even through our differences, our individual highs and lows, that can be the change this world longs for. Yet if we come to a place where all effort has been exhausted and conversation is no longer possible, let us say:

May he be blessed. May he be happy. May he be loved.

Ps: I know this was a LONG one, and can you believe only one photo? These kinds of posts are rare, but I am thankful you stuck through to the end :)

Book Your January Session Now

Let's make a plan so you can align your life and business for what you want to accomplish in 2017. With intentionality, I truly believe you will gain MOMENTUM and reach goals. I have 10 spaces available for January (space is limited, since I am also launching a new project!). Book your session now and let's do something great in 2017. Reserve your space by emailing info@uncommoncartography.com ⭐️

The 25 Hour Experiment

From sunset on Friday until stars dot the sky on Saturday night, I disconnect from the digital world.. For 25 hours a week.. Pollution from information overload and carbon emissions are stopped cold on the day of rest. - Mel Alexenberg

I recently stepped into a local apothecary and began to the proprietor a series of questions. I was curious what people typically came to see her for, I guess it to be the common cold. She said I was mostly correct, but that people in my generation are dealing with anxiety and insomnia. This wasn't surprising to me, but when she mentioned that she was the crazy lady on the corner telling people to turn off their phones it really got me thinking.

The challenge in this era of globalization - for countries and individuals - is to find a healthy balance between preserving a sense of identity, home and community and doing what it takes to survive within the globalization system. - Thomas Friedman, The Lexus & The Olive Tree

Technology has pretty thoroughly saturated my life, I run social media for companies, as well as consult individual creatives and small businesses on how to level up on marketing. Though I value my connectivity, I am someone from strong family roots where dinners were spent together and deep community was treasured. My mother is German and part of what she passed down to our family from her culture was a passion for sitting around a table for hours conversing about art, religion and ideas. In addition to rich conversation, I grew up in a household where TV was limited and I was encouraged to spend time in nature though if it was too humid (ohh Arkansas) then there was a library stocked with books. All of these things greatly fostered my imagination, my curiosity, and my hunger to delve deeper into areas which I knew little about.

I have a growing concern that as this new economy increases pressure on us all to adapt more quickly, constantly be growing our skill sets, etc. we are losing our depth. Our ability to look deeply at ideas, to converse, to see connections and strategic positioning at the intersection of the arts, business and technology. And you know what the crazy thing is? I am fairly certain this depth is the key which will greatly differentiate us in the new economy.

Artists in the postdigital age also function as researchers and teachers. Artists - researchers - teachers inhabit and explore the borderlands between art, science, technology, and education, integrating knowing, doing and making through aesthetic experiences that flow between intellect, feeling and practice to create and convey meaning. - Mel Alexenberg

As efficiencies increase and the economy transitions to more of a "gig economy" we need to make sure that we are intentionally directing our lives, instead of them running us. Did you know that Rembrandt was known not only for being an artist, but also an entrepreneur and business man? His successes in the art marketplace brought him great honor. Today more than ever before we need to allow ourselves time to unplug and to think deeply, not only for personal wellness but for competitive advantage. So this weekend I am launching a 25-hour experiment, from sunset on Friday till the stars dot the sky on Saturday evening, I will be unplugged from my computer and unavailable by cell phone. Whether you decide to be this extreme, or test your own variation - perhaps not looking at your phone for 1-2 hours, I am curious to see what happens. Many of us have been pushing for breakthrough and seeing areas where we need to pivot, so let's give ourselves some time + space to focus.

Your Dream Defender,

Esther

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To Learn More About The Gig Economy Check Out:

• The Gig Economy: Distraction or Disruption?
• The Gig Economy: The Force That Could Save The American Worker
• Care.com Creates a $500 Limited Benefit for Gig-Economy Workers