If I were you I think I would be hoping that I would be letting us off easy today. But no, everything that has been said this week has been laying the foundation for this final post of the Desert In The City series. Because as we begin to take care of ourselves by creating sacred spaces, developing morning rituals and feeding our spirits, that is when we will find ourselves strong enough to face those wounds we may have been avoiding in our lives.
"You can make a drug - a way to anesthetize yourself - out of anything: working out, binge-watching TV, working, having sex, shopping, volunteering, cleaning, dieting. Any of those things can keep you from feeling the pain for a while - that' what drugs do. And, used like a drug, over time, shopping or TV or work or whatever will make you less and less able to connect to the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love. That's another thing drugs do, they isolate you.
Many of us have a handful of these drugs, and it's terrifying to think of living without them. It is terrifying: wildly unprotected, vulnerable, staring our wounds right in the face. But this is where we grow, where we learn, where our lives actually begin to change." - Shauna Niequist
Busyness is never a substitute for our true North, if your heart is whispering of a longing for something more than that is a really good sign, because it means that there is hope for change. Many of my clients, friends and family (including myself) have been going through breakups, job changes, business pivots and more. It's not comfortable, and there is a temptation to feel the unknown with certainty - to schedule our days to the max, the begin new relationships, etc. But all that we have gone through and are going through is to expose areas in our lives that are in need of change. Unfortunately, many times we have to reach minor or major crisis in order to push us out of our comfort zone and make us desperate enough to do the unglamorous work of self-discovery and cultivating real change in our lives.
“Can the purpose of a relationship be to trigger our wounds? In a way, yes, because that is how healing happens; darkness must be exposed before it can be transformed. The purpose of an intimate relationship is not that it be a place where we can hide from our weaknesses, but rather where we can safely let them go. It takes strength of character to truly delve into the mystery of an intimate relationship, because it takes the strength to endure a kind of psychic surgery, an emotional and psychological and even spiritual initiation into the higher Self. Only then can we know an enchantment that lasts.” ― Marianne Williamson
So instead of blaming our last relationship, our last job, or whatever else may have contributed to where we find ourselves... Let's take time to heal our wounds. We do not have control over anyone but ourselves. Let's prepare for this next season so that instead of bitterness, hurt, and anger seeping out into the lives of those we interact with and care for, we will be conduits of peace, light, and gratitude.
“Until we have met the monsters in ourselves, we keep trying to slay them in the outer world. And we find that we cannot. For all darkness in the world stems from darkness in the heart. And it is there that we must do our work.” ― Marianne Williamson